What it Means to be a Man

[Drychnath]

I begin this thread for the purposes of discussing appropriate masculine behavior. It is quite possible for the list to grow expansive in the extreme, but I'm really just curious about other's opinions. To be fair and get it started, however, I'll begin with two qualities fundamental to being a man; Strength and Dignity. Both encompass a number of different specifics, which I'll expand on a bit after I return from class.

[Pike]

Define dignity. There are many forms and many “MEN” you will take those forms to the extreme. Some would say honor, truth, and chivalry. Others would say to be an unmoving stone emotionless statue. Others might say doing what is right and being the good father or son or brother. It can also be defined as the old fairy tails of knights in Europe or the summaries of feudal Japan. In that case than every man on Mtv or person who is not afraid of pubic opinion that goes and does something wild and crazy does that say that he has lost his dignity. How strongly does ones dignity hold up against public opinion? You your self Mr. Blough have done some things that are questionable (Chicago small hand towel) define dignity what is it?

[Drychnath]

Strength in this context is largely, but not entirely, personal (of personality). It encompasses confidence, emotional fortitude, and the determination to uphold and defend that which is dear. It also encompasses violence; violence is men's responsibility. It is our heritage, our purpose and our birthright. A man is required to be willing to engage in violence when appropriate and in an appropriate manner. All men aren't required to be highly tuned phenominally fit engines of death (Lord knows I'm not), but some capacity for, and willingness to engage in violence is necessary.

Dignity is largely a question of restraint. It involves such things as control of emotion, a certain level of public decorum, demonstrating a respectful attitude towards others, ensuring that one's dealings do not reflect negatively on oneself, and maintaining self-respect before others.

[Socrates]

I don't think in order to be a "Man" you have to "BE" any of those things. So, let's define then, today's 'typical man' in our culture. Has electronic friend, i.e. video game/computer game/ television...lusts after women and materiel things... thinks his dick is the biggest thing EVAR. Right? Right? Oh, wait, but we are all not TYPICAL men, right? I forgot... (cough)

It is my personal opinion that a real man be honest, intelligent, trustworthy, and empathetic, and I seriously think those qualities could go for ANY human, male or female.

[johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt]

I would have to say, above all else, not even looking at just men, but anyone, no matter who they are, where they live, and what their back ground, an ability to respect and understand other people's wishes, culture, personality, beliefs, what have you. a man does not have to be intelligent(god knows i have my moments, everyone does), a man doesn't have to be dignacious(when have i ever acted with dignity? everything's a joke to me), man doesn't have to be strong(however this helps, because it's cool to be able to scare people by having them glance at you), a man doens't have to even have to lust after women...well, maybe he does, to be the sort of "MANLY MAN" you're talking about, sure. anyway, an ability to respect others, and critically think, not take things on blind faith. a person who does that, and holds those two things high on the food chain, will have my respect. i think, with those two attributes, any person, no matter what they believe or think, will be, in the end, a good person, and that's what counts.

[Asaeroth]

Respectful, Trustworthy, Dependable, and Honest.

Without truth, none of the rest can be achieved.

[Tharnex]

johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt said:

... and critically think, not take things on blind faith....

well i guess that eliminates all pepole of any religion from your respected list...

[johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt]

not necessarily, that just means that they place other things on a higher priority than i do, i can respect a religious man who is willing to stand for his beliefs, has questioned them, and has yet remained strong in them. that i respect, when i say blind faith, i mean accepting something without ever questioning. cults, those suicide thignies? whoever did that one famous one? yah, those people all, quite frankly, were idiots, no matter how intelligent they were, they were idiots.

[Pike]

I think what we perceive to be a man and the guidelines that make up how he should act and how he should live his life are becoming more and more vague as we lose the beliefs in at least American culture that men are greater than women. The end or at least the beginning of the end of what we see as “the true man” started in the end of the sixties and seventies with the hippie movement, feminist movement and in the seventies and eighties the rise of the homosexual culture. The role of a man can no longer be defined by the old ways of the European culture of chivalry. Yes men are still required to fight for there home and family but the role is becomeing of equal responsibility between both sexes. You can look at a homosexual couple and the stereotype of who is the man and who is the woman of the relationship. The man is expected to be the strong domineering one who brings in the bacon. The women of the relationship are to have a more minimal job if not purely stay home husband. When you look at the average American family heterosexual or homosexual the role of who is the man and who is the woman are fading out and dare I say I more equal hose old are arising. With the addition t our culture of the stay home daddy and the working mom we will see a change in how we perceive what a man or a woman are and there roles in society.

[Socrates]

Some old literature for thought. I prefer to exlude the last line, on account of it's 'godly devotion,' but I do like the way 'men' are described in this poem...it could very well be taken as 'mankind,' but in terms of ye old chivalry...

"Since spoken word Man's Spirit stirred
Beyond his belly-need,
What is Thine of fair design
In thought and craft and deed;
Each stroke aright of toil and fight,
That was and that shall be,
And hope too high, wherefore we die,
Has birth and worth in Thee."

[Arcadian]

Real Men can cry.

Though I do also second the notion that Men are the Protectors of society and that they should be on comfortable terms with violence.

I'm fond of the notion of 'doing what must be done,' as well. I think Men would agree.

Y'all are getting much to far into cultural cliches and stereotypes.

(Men arn't homophobes either.)

[Anon]

Now be honest... you manly men. How many of you (are watching) watched the Superbowl? PS I agree wholeheartedly on the last post..."Real men can cry..."

[Arcadian]

I'm not. Though I wish I was. But I have other things to worry about.

[johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt]

super bowl to be sure, and had a beer, and cried when my team lost(not really, but i yelled at that damn honda commercial for thinking they knew what a cowboy was!)

[Asaeroth]

How does football in any way decide who is a man and who is not?

Now honestly, as per watching the super bowl:

Would it be more manly to watch the super bowl and abandon your friends who do not enjoy it, or would it be more manly to join your friends and spend time with them? I feel that to spend time with those who enjoy your company is, in a manner, for the greater good. Isn't that at the heart of being part of this species? To make sacrifices for the good of the many?

That's my take. It sounded better in my head.